Today I am sitting in sacrament meeting and this huge feeling of comfort comes to me. Why? The last few months my dad has tried to get us to understand that we can recieve personal revelation, even in sacrament meeting. And at this point in my life, I'll soak up any oppurtunity I get to recieve answers. The last few days not to mention weeks have been rough for me. The most common thing is knowing that some of my best friends are gone for two years, they know what they are doing and I'm stuck here wondering what I am supposed to be doing in those two years. The Bishop in my ward always says when a missionary leaves that we should look at ourself and evalutate where we are today and then in two years see how far we have come. Through the good AND even the bad. And that thought kills me but makes me sooo happy at the same time. I want to know where I will be so I know what to do. I've had a million thoughts go through my head the last week. Way too many to write down. Happy thoughts, sad thoughts, thoughts of confussion, thoughts of excitement, thoughts of wonder. Sad because I miss my roommates. I never see them or they live far away. And when I want to do something, I always get to work. And it breaks my heart everytime. Too mnay times I cry over that. That means they had a huge impact on me and I will be forever grateful. I miss being able to be myself and jsut having a good time!! MISS 'EM ALL!!!!! And the hymn hadn't even started today and I just lost it. I don't think anyone saw but my dear sister Natalie, but I hope she didn't either :) This went on tell I took the sacrament. I feel like I did a pretty good job of hiding it but who knows. Anyways, I teach the little CTR 5 class, come home, have a little arugment with my brother Tyrone, go straight to my room and pull the good ol' journal out. I wrote for 2 and a half hours but that isn't the point. I turned on Pandora and this song came on and I've been playing it for the last hour. It is called "I Will Not Take My Love Away" by Matt Wertz.
I will not take my love away
When praises cease and seasons change
while the whole world turns the other way
I will not take my love away
I will not leave you all alone
When striving leads you far from home
And there's no yield for what you've sown
I will not leave you all alone
I will give you what you need
In plenty or in poverty
Forever, always, look to me
And I will give you what you need
I will not take my love away
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